To Take My Own Life - Or Not?

– a true story -

As Ralph reached his moment of death he gave permission for his story to be told
and I can only pray that I have given him the voice he needed.
Ralph, in his weeks of home palliative care, was in excruciating constant agony with pain controlling drugs offering little relief.

He spent time researching euthanasia –its moral, religious views and also methodology of taking control of the means and the time of ones own death.

His unbearable pain was also, to all who loved him, a pain too difficult to bear.
Ralph managed to obtain a collection of pills and determined for himself a moment when he intended to leave the earth ----perhaps in his case this would be considered suicide without assistance since he did not want anyone to hold the burden.

However the loved ones said goodbye, aware of his intentions and understanding his need to be free from his pain.

It was with trepidation that Ralph’s daughter walked into his room next morning expecting to find her father now deceased and yet at peace.
Ralph was however wide awake and anxious to tell of his night –a night wherein he had fully expected to move into the spiritual spheres.

Now, Ralph had taken his pills and had what he told a near death experience in which he saw and felt two men in black robes coming to take him to a gravesite ---however he realized with fear that this was not HIS gravesite for he was going to be cremated.

He pulled back in terror knowing this was not really his time as a small boy ran to the grave and said “No this is my grave “ --- Ralph was freed and he returned to his bed and his body.

He said that now no matter what pain he was to endure this would not entice him to go before his God intended time.

So what is the end of this story?  Ralph lived on for three more weeks but miraculously without any pain or drugs. He spent joyful times with family and friends and to his pleasure Ralph was able to reconcile with a long alienated son John who came from London to visit his father three days before his death.

Ralph was a peaceful and contented man as he went across the threshold into the spiritual world and expressed immense gratitude to God for allowing him these last three weeks.

 

With respect for a delightful man ---